Book Review: The Five (5) Love Languages

Recently, my wife brought home a book that she had brought home from a friend.  She was reading and the title caught my attention, so I had to investigate.  The book was on lone so my wife bought a copy from the local retailer for our home.  I picked it up and began to read the book.  I wasn't to sure that I would enjoy the subject matter nor did I really think I would learn anything from the book.  But once I picked up the book and began to read the stories of the individuals that were featured in the book and saw their lives and how the things in this book made a difference in their homes and marriage, I have to admit, I got lost in the pages of the book. 

Dr. Gary Chapmn writes in this wonderful book that there are 5 Love Languages that are spoken by every person.  Each of us have a Primary Love Language that makes us feel loved and good about ourselves. I have copied and pasted the discriptions from the website http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ for you to see what each of these Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
 
There is a test at the back of the book that you can take and it helps you identify your Primary Love Language.  Some individuals like me have two Primary Love Language meaning I am Bi-lingual.  When I took the test it showed me that I was Bi-lingual and my Primary Love Languages were "Quality Time and Acts of Service".  As I stopped and thought about it that is really what makes me happy when my spouse is spending quality time with me as we do Acts of Service together.  I recommend this book to every married couple.  It has really helped our lives in the last couple of weeks.  My wife's Primary Love Language is "Words of Affirmation".  Her Secondary Love Language is "Physical Touch".  Once we had learned each others love languages we have focused on doing what makes the other one happy and not what we thinks makes them happy.  I was even shocked about mine results and so was my wife. 
 
Humbly Submitted,
Rev. Troy G. Reynolds
Senior Pastor SSPC/SEIRC